It's Friday night. Do you know where YOUR daughter is?

I'm supposed to go clubbing tonight. I don't know if I can. I love dancing. I'm fairly attractive. I "have" a man, so it's not like I should be worrying about people looking my way. But I don't know if I can, because my clothes suck in the clubbing department.

Like, Ok. I'm cute and all. And my fashion is my own. And I can make myself look cute. But my clubbing girls are skinny, trendy, hot and with it. They are the pinnacle of HIGH FASHION (which is my fav new phrase!) Like, I mean, really, I'm trendy enough...but not CLUB TRENDY. I'm not with it. I mean, I'm just not CLUB material and I don't know what to do, because my friend is and I wanna see her while she's home, but I don't know if I have the club in me tonight.

I've thought about going to Wal*Mart and getting some new clothes that are cheap but could be passed off in a night club. I think it will pick up my spirits. I feel so off center lately and maybe a night of dancing and pretending that I'm not super intimidated by the skinny girls and tan boys will do me good. Get me out of my comfort zone and into....well, I don't know yet. I just wish I was younger so I wouldn't feel so frumpy.

And maybe......maybe that's why I've been hanging out with and seeing who I am. I have essentially 2 groups of friends. My gay best friend and his friends, who are all in this same mindset. We don't do dance clubs, we do corner bars and front lawn pool parties. And then there's my super geeky boys and this one boy, who I'm not ready to give a title to yet but yeah..........anyway, they're super geeky and they so funny and I love hanging out with them because they reference geek stuff and make me laugh so much.

But notice nowhere did I mention high fashion? Because I'm not. I play. I pretend. Sometimes I fall into looking the part. But I'm not, and I'm OK with that.

I just wish I didn't feel like a whole room of people is judging me because my shoes are so last year and that shirt is a tad too tight.

I'm in a bad mood.