Fishies Poop Sand and How to Lose at Life

According to my friend, there are fish who eat rocks and then poop out sand and that's how beachers were made. Awe-sam!

So last night we went to a Japanese hibachi grill thing and we were having an awesome time. I had Voss Sparkling water, because I'm better than you, and we ate really good food and it was nice. So while there, me and my girl got engrossed in a vigorous contest to see who could possibly more self involved, but we were total fail. Yes, while we were playing Super-Vain-Me, we were trumped by a smooshie-faced bitch who takes all the gold medals in all the conceited competitions in the world.

How? Well, she was with a different party and it was her friend's birthday. Their chef was leading everyone in singing happy birthday to their friend and it was no big deal. But then, they stopped singing and smushy-faced bitch goes "How do you sing it in Japanese? Sing it in Japanese!" Like, c'mon, bitch! Please! Guy's just trying to make you dinner and put on a little show and you're gonna be an asshole like that?

Well, he wasn't thrown, he just kept going and politely said, "I don't speak Japanese; I'm Chinese." Well, wouldn't you know, bitch is so rude, she friggin' goes, "Then sing it in Chinese. How do you sing it in Chinese?"

Me and my girl were like, WTF!??! Double-U Tee Eff?!?!?! Double-U Tee Emm Eff?!?!? I mean, for God's sake, the poor chef! And the waitress lady had to be like, "Please don't bother the chef." MY GOD!!!

So yeah, my friend and I ultimately lost the Who Is Most Self Involved game. But really, when the prize is being a huge bitch that no one likes, aren't we all losers.

At least WE don't have squishy-faces!